Two kinds of feedback, one aim
Positive feedback recognises what works, so that the person does it again. Negative feedback flags what does not work, so that they adjust it. The phrase "negative feedback" is misleading, in fact: it suggests the aim is to penalise. I prefer to speak of adjusting feedback, to remind people that it concerns what can change.
Neither matters more than the other. Someone who only receives adjustments ends up thinking nothing they do is recognised. Someone who only receives compliments does not progress, and ends up doubting that they are sincere.
Making your feedback more precise
Knowing what to say is one thing; saying it to the right person at the right time, without tensing up, is another. A first conversation helps to identify with you the situations in which your managers hesitate most and the work to be done. Fees are set by personalised quotation.
Positive feedback: precise, not flattering
"Great job, well done" feels nice for ten seconds. It teaches nothing, because the person does not know what to repeat. Useful positive feedback describes what was done and what it produced.
| Vague compliment | Precise positive feedback |
|---|---|
| "Great presentation!" | "In this morning's presentation you opened with the client's case before the figures. The whole room followed what came next without drifting." |
| "Thanks for your help." | "On Friday you spent an hour reading through my file before it went out. It left without errors, and I was able to leave on time." |
The same structure as for adjusting feedback applies: the situation, what was done, what it produced. It is set out in the article on the SBI model.
Adjusting feedback: direct and caring
Successful adjusting feedback combines two things that seem opposed: real frankness about the fact, and visible concern for the person. Empathy without frankness, the kind that says "don't worry, it happens" about a repeated mistake, does no one a favour: the person changes nothing and the team bears the consequences. Frankness without care triggers defensiveness or withdrawal, and the message does not get through.
A few rules help:
- speak close to the moment, and in private;
- state your intention: "I'd like to talk about the meeting, because I want you to feel at ease in it";
- describe the fact and its effect, then ask an open question;
- deal with one subject at a time;
- finish with what is expected next.
Why I advise against the feedback sandwich
The feedback sandwich wraps a criticism between two compliments: a positive point to open, the remark slipped in the middle, a further encouragement to close. The intention is good, because you want to spare the other person. I nevertheless advise against it, for four reasons.
The first is that it teaches the other person to distrust your compliments. As soon as they recognise the pattern, they understand that any opening praise announces a "but". Your sincere compliments, the ones you really mean, are then heard as the start of a criticism and lose their value.
The second is that the message gets diluted. With a criticism lodged between two compliments, some people leave thinking everything is fine, especially in cultures where things are phrased with restraint. Others, on the contrary, see a manoeuvre and believe neither the compliments nor the criticism.
The third is that it protects mainly the speaker. The sandwich allows you to say something unpleasant without really owning it, and the person on the receiving end senses it: they feel handled rather than informed, which erodes trust.
The fourth is that it mixes two messages that each deserve their own moment. Recognition is given for its own sake, for real reasons, when the occasion arises. Adjustment is said plainly, so that it can be acted on.
What I suggest instead: state your intention in one sentence, set out the fact and its effect using SBI, ask an open question and listen to the answer. Compliments come at other times, for other reasons, and each keeps its full weight.
Is there a right balance between the two?
Precise ratios are sometimes quoted. I know of none that is soundly established for teamwork, and I am wary of any formula that promises to replace attention to the person in front of you. A more useful rule: if someone who deserves it has had no positive feedback for several weeks, there is an imbalance to correct, and the adjusting feedback will be better heard afterwards.
FAQ
What is the difference between positive, negative and constructive feedback?
Positive feedback recognises what works; negative or adjusting feedback flags what must change. "Constructive" is not a third category: it is the quality both share when they are precise, fact-based and given to help. A vague compliment is no more constructive than a vague reproach.
Is the feedback sandwich really to be avoided?
I advise against it, because it teaches people to distrust your compliments, dilutes the message and mainly protects the person speaking. Its one advantage is that it reassures the manager, but that comfort costs clarity. A sentence of intention followed by SBI feedback is clearer and takes no more courage.
Should you always start with something positive?
No. Starting with a compliment out of habit is rebuilding the sandwich. If you have positive feedback to give, give it separately. And open adjusting feedback by stating your intention: "I'd like to talk about something that matters for what comes next".
Can you give negative feedback in public?
Adjusting feedback is given in private, because a disagreement in front of others puts the person in the position of defending themselves. Positive feedback can be given in public, provided you know how the person takes it: not everyone likes being congratulated in front of the team, and it varies from one culture to another.
How do you give negative feedback in writing?
Best not to do it in writing alone. If writing is unavoidable, describe the facts and their effect in a few short sentences, avoid adjectives, and offer a quick conversation. A written message on a sensitive subject is read in the harshest possible light.
Going further
- Feedback culture: how to build one
- The SBI model for constructive feedback
- Taking criticism without defending
- Psychological safety, the ground feedback grows in
- Radical Candor: care and frankness together
- A one-day feedback training course
- Executive coaching for senior leaders
This article was written by Marc Prager.